Positive Parenting in 2026: Breaking the Cycle of Shouting Through Inner Child Healing

I used to shout at my child whenever I felt angry, irritated, or overwhelmed. Many times, I did not even know what exactly triggered it. Shouting became my first response, almost automatic. Soon after, guilt would follow. I would hate myself and question my own behaviour. I would ask myself if my child really deserved this kind of response.

Over time, I slowly understood one important truth. It was never about my child. It was especially never about a child who is on the spectrum and already struggling to understand and manage the world. The shouting was not caused by my child’s actions. It was coming from much deeper within me.

When Shouting Becomes Discipline

I was brought up believing that shouting is equal to discipline. A loud voice meant authority, control, and obedience. I had learned that unless a child is shouted at, the child will not listen or follow instructions. This belief is very common and deeply rooted in many of us.

In daily life, this belief often feels true. Children do stop, listen, and comply when we shout. Things get done quickly, and from the outside it looks like discipline is working. But what we don’t see immediately is the emotional cost that comes with it.

When shouting becomes the main tool, the skills we truly want to build—emotional safety, trust, self-regulation, and confidence—slowly get affected. Yet, because we are not shown any better way, shouting remains the default response.

The Fear Hidden Behind Shouting

Behind shouting, there is usually fear. Fear that if we do not discipline our child, our child will not survive in the future. Fear that the child will not learn important life skills or will not be able to manage life independently.

For parents of neurodivergent children, this fear becomes even stronger. Questions about the future, independence, and earning keep playing in the mind. But at some point, I had to pause and ask myself an honest question.

Was this really about my child’s future, or was it about the fears that I had inherited? Fears that were passed down to me from my own childhood, wrapped in the name of discipline and control.

Caught in a Vicious Cycle

For a long time, I felt completely stuck. I would shout, then feel guilty, then promise myself to do better next time. But soon, the same pattern would repeat. It felt like a cycle with no clear exit.

This constant loop of reaction and regret drained me emotionally. I knew something had to change, but I did not know where to begin.

Discovering Inner Child Healing

My turning point came when I learned about inner child healing. This helped me understand that my reactions were not conscious decisions. They were patterns stored in my nervous system.

As a child, my body had learned a formula. Stress meant raising the voice. Authority meant shouting. So whenever I felt overwhelmed as an adult, my body reacted first. My throat tightened, my voice became louder, and shouting happened before I could think.

This understanding brought a lot of relief. I realised I was not a bad parent. I was responding from an old pattern.

Awareness Instead of Perfection

Inner child healing did not make me a perfect parent. It did not remove shouting completely from my life, and I do not believe that should be the goal.

What it gave me was awareness. And awareness created space. If I was shouting five days a week earlier, I slowly reduced it to once a week. Not zero, not perfect, but less.

Trying to be perfect would have created another form of pressure and suppression. Reduction felt realistic and kind. It allowed change without self-punishment.

From Blame to Compassion

In the beginning, this process made me angry with my parents. I blamed them for the patterns I had inherited. But as my understanding deepened, compassion slowly replaced blame.

I realised that my parents learned from their parents, and they passed on what they knew. Shouting was generational. It was not intentional harm, but conditioning.

This understanding helped me stop blaming and start healing.

From Personal Healing to Purposeful Work

As my awareness grew, my journey slowly changed direction. Personal healing began to shape my professional path as well.

I chose inner child healing as my profession because I could clearly see how deeply childhood experiences affect adult reactions, especially in parenting.

As a life coach, I designed my sessions in a simple and gentle way. The focus is to help parents and adults understand that there is an unhealed inner child inside all of us. This is the part of us that reacts quickly, feels scared, becomes overwhelmed, or shouts when situations feel out of control.

I realised that real change does not happen by only correcting behaviour. Real change begins when we acknowledge what is hurt or unresolved inside us. This understanding matched perfectly with my life purpose.

My purpose is to help people create peaceful, beautiful, and emotionally strong lives. Not perfect lives, but lives where people feel calmer, kinder to themselves, and more aware.

How Spirituality Helped Me Find My Purpose

Spirituality played a very important role in my journey. It guided me to look inward instead of blaming myself or others for my reactions.

Through spirituality, I learned to observe my thoughts and emotions without judging them. It helped me understand my patterns with softness instead of shame.

I also realised that inner child healing is not only emotional work. It is inner and soul-level work. It reconnects us with who we are beneath fear and conditioning.

Spirituality helped me understand why shouting happens and why guilt follows. More importantly, it showed me that slow awareness can bring lasting change. Sometimes, purpose is not something new we find. It is something we slowly remember about ourselves.

A Gentle Invitation

If these words felt familiar, you are not alone. You may share this blog with someone who might benefit from it. If you wish to work on your inner child and parenting journey, you can connect with me through the WhatsApp icon. I support parents of special children as well as all parents.

Thankyou for reading this article 🌹